10/31/2003: "Demotivators"

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10/31/2003: "Demotivators"

Soon I'll be leaving for Gainesville, Ga., an hour north of Atlanta, for our last big regatta of the year, the Head of the Chattahoochee. It's a stunningly beautiful area, and the course and boathouse are in the middle of a forest of colorful oak trees.

I have to say, though, that strangely, I'm not at all excited about going. I'm not dreading the trip in the least, either -- I love any bit of travel, no matter where it may be. But there are a couple of things contributing to my ambivalence.

Rowing at the Charles was perhaps one of the most exciting rowing experiences I've ever had, even more so than nationals. I'd never rowed at the Charles, and there's a certain prestige in rowing circles associated with it. It's the biggest regatta of its kind in the world, and there are international crews there. I'd also never been to Boston, and all that together made for an incredible experience. I think I'm still coming down from that high, and right now other races don't have that special significance to me.

I've also been demoted, in a manner of speaking -- I'm no longer the "stroke" for the boat as I was at the Charles. The stroke seat as it's called is a key seat in the boat, because the other rowers in the boat sit behind you and follow you stroke-for-stroke. He or she is typically one of the boat's best technical rowers (though I'm nowhere near the strongest), setting an example for the others. I was proud I'd been entrusted with a position of such responsibility and pressure and in such an important race.

After the Charles, and at least for the race in Atlanta, the coach has moved me to 2 seat, which is on the other end of the boat.

I'm pretty sure it's because I crabbed in Boston. I can't say for certain because he never explained why he shuffled a couple of us around; he just did it. But I can't see any other reason why he would do that except to get me out of the stroke seat. He told me I crabbed because I've been doing "something weird" with my left hand lately. And I think until that's fixed, I don't think I'm going to be stroke.

I'm not bitter, and I personally think he did the right thing. If I were the coach and my stroke seat screwed up in a big race, I probably would have done the same thing. But I am disappointed -- mostly because my mistake cost me my highfalutin position and in part because he didn't give me a chance to make up for my gaffe by letting me prove myself at stroke at the Hooch. I also feel bad for the woman who sits behind me, L., because the coach moved her to the back of the boat along with me, because the coach thinks we make a good pair (a port-side rower and a starboard-side rower together is called a pair) and match up well. So I took her to the back of the boat with me, even though she didn't do anything wrong. I did.

To throw salt into the wound, he promoted a woman to stroke, J., that some rowers don't like. Some would rather see me at stroke, but that's not my call.

This is all not to say that the back of the boat is where you hide the shitty rowers. But the stroke seat (and 7 seat behind it) are more prestigious places to be. I find stroke seat to be challenging and fun, and I thrive on the pressure and responsibility that comes with it. I haven't been bumped out of the boat completely; I am still a part of the club's top boat -- at least for now. Hopefully I can move my way back to stroke seat soon. I'd passionately loved rowing until my move. But things happen for a reason -- and work out for the best -- even if it isn't apparent.

Current mood: Pensive

Replies: 1 shoutout

Sounds like you're a victim of bad luck.

Posted by ~ @ 10/31/2003 07:35 AM EST