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I try very hard to avoid writing about work, but this one is important enough to be posted here.
I think I’ve figured out what I want to do with the rest of my life.
It all came to a head last week, as I sat in the darkness of my car in the parking lot after work one night and sobbed uncontrollably over all the injustices at work that I am powerless to change: the overstaffing during the day -- some complain or boast of their boredom -- while people like me who either prefer or are stuck on the night shift leave blood on the keyboards every night; the fact that I will probably never be promoted, while there are others with less experience, seniority and responsibility who have passed me by; the opportunities others are given to work on fun projects, while the night folks are left to churn out the same shit every night; the mistrust, which makes for ridiculous micromanagment from above; and the inattention to the night-shifters in my department, who are left to carry an inordinate amount of the workload, are looked upon as second-class employees and are rarely rewarded or even acknowledged unless something is screwed up.
The realization that none of this will ever change just overwhelmed me.
My BF was understanding, as always, but could only sit there and provide comfort until my frustrations ran their course. I told him I am now willing to move, but I don’t think he’s as open to the idea, though he didn’t flat out say no.
I will be poor. What I want to do earns a fraction of what I now make. The BF is supportive; he would rather see me happy, and as long as I bring in X amount of money, we won't starve. And being poor doesn’t scare me at all. I have done most of what I've wanted to do, I own what I need and neither of us are in debt. I’d much rather be poor and happy than financially comfortable and miserable.
More to come as I figure out how to make this happen.
Current mood: Content
Replies: 2 shoutouts
I'm still here. I'll catch you up on details offline.
Posted by Huffy @ 08/04/2003 03:21 AM EST
Quit yet? :-)
Posted by ~ @ 08/03/2003 02:44 PM EST