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I'm actually thinking of ordering some -- hey, beats cooking. Anyone interested in joining me?
Hartford Courant -- Haute cuisine, these meals are not. But fighting machines, as soldiers become in battle, are not looking for a four-star experience. What Meals-Ready-to-Eat, or MREs -- as they are more commonly called -- lack in finesse, they make up for in variety and an old-fashioned stick-to-the-ribs quality.
MREs, which fed the military during Desert Storm in 1991, refer to entrees, sides, desserts and snacks packed in heat-processed, flexible pouches. The food is fully cooked -- eating straight from the pouch is less appetizing but possible -- requires no refrigeration and reheats to the piping-hot stage with a minute or so in boiling water.
The Army Soldier Systems Center in Natick, Mass., oversees the food program for the troops, but this boil-in-the-bag food is not just for the military anymore.
Another advantage to this pouch storage is a long shelf life -- years, in fact -- making them perfect for home pantries preparing for dark days, poor college students or anyone trying to discourage their taste buds.
Search the Internet for Meals-Ready-to-Eat, and dozens of sites pop up, each promoting ample supplies and reasonable prices.
The Ocean State Job Lot store in Connecticut carries a variety of entrees: Turkey with Savory Vegetables, Beef Stew and vegetarian pasta and beans among them, and side dishes. Don't expect fancy packaging. The pouches are tucked into a plain white cardboard box with navy blue lettering. But the meals are drastically cheaper than supermarket frozen entrees: 69 cents for an entree, 39 cents for a side dish.
"We're selling a lot of these," said the cashier as she scanned 12 boxes of entrees and a fruit dessert. (I didn't ask if most of those buyers also added duct tape, sheet plastic, flashlights and batteries to their order.)
But how edible or inedible are they? A small group of reporters gathered for an informal tasting, sampling each dish two ways: heated according to package directions and straight from the pouch. The tasters preferred the hot version, but it's far easier to be so choosy in the comfort of an office as opposed to the desert in Iraq.
Here are comments noted after several swallows:
* Turkey with Savory Vegetables: Thumbs down. "Something I'd only eat under duress"; "Not as bad as imagined, but not something I'd ask for seconds"; "If this doesn't turn you into a fighting machine, nothing will."
* Beef Chili with Beans: Thumbs almost up. Two tasters detected a slightly sour flavor, while two others thought it too bland. "Good; looks like they skimped on the beef and loaded up on the beans. Spicy, but not hot"; "Has kind of an afterburn. Might want to add some Tums to the beef and beans."
* Beef Stew: Thumbs up. "Like chunky beef soup; very tender beef"; "Probably the best meal in the group"; "It brings Irish taste buds to life." One dissenter: "Let's just say Dinty Moore isn't worried."
* Parmesan Chicken: Thumbs up. "My Italian grandmother would swoon in horror, but it sure beats the turkey"; "Interesting brio with a hint of Old World elan tempered by a slight piquant sense of kerosene."
* Vegetarian Pasta Fagioli: Thumbs up, with a reservation. Tasters commented on a strange aftertaste that one describes as similar to black licorice.
* Apple Slices in Spicy Sauce: Thumbs down on the spices. "Too mushy, too sour."